CATS Drabbles
by Puddycat
Summary: Supposed to be 100 words or less, but I doubt I'll ever manage that, so I'm aiming for under 150. Warning! Very, VERY twisted. 5th drabble added.
1. Chapter 1

I got the idea for this from my mum (and she said it's okay for me to write this, so don't flame me about plagiarism), who writes ones like these for the Star Trek fandom (only not on this site). It's supposed to be 100 words or less, but I couldn't manage it, so I've got 144 instead.

Yes, I know this is twisted, but it's a Sunday and I'm bored. Please, please forgive me for inflicting this on the CATS fandom...

Disclaimer - Do I _look_ like Andrew Lloyd Wbebber or TS Elliot?

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"OW!" Tugger yelped. "Not so hard Bomba! It can break, you know!"

"Relax," the red queen purred as she pushed his head back into the blanket. "Just lie back and let me do the work."

She looked down to where her paws were and gasped, her eyes growing large.

"Heaviside, that's a big one!"

"Only the best for you, baby," Tugger smirked.

Several minutes later, and he wasn't joking. He whimpered as her paws raked through his fur. Bombalurina roughly pulled her claws through it as Tugger laid back and purred. All too soon, it was all over and Bombalurina was leaving Tugger's den.

"Same time next week?" she asked.

"Of course," Tugger smirked. "Only next time, don't do it so hard, yeah?"

Bombalurina raised an eyebrow as she turned to leave.

"It's hardly my fault if you keep letting your mane get matted."

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-Innocently-What did you think it was about? Stop looking at me like that, you're scary...

Anyways, this is quite possibly only the first in a long chain of these, so beware! Mwahahahaha! My twisted-ness doesn't end here!


	2. Chapter 2

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR THE SUMMER! Trouble is, I'm only at home for two weeks and two days of the holidays... Anyways, I'm bored at the minute, so you get another glimpse into my mind, which will provide some very nice evidence if you decide to send the men in white coats after me. Please don't, though. I rather like inflicting my complete and utter insanity on you...

Disclaimer: Do I _look_ like Andrew Lloyd Webber or TS Elliot?

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"Teazer," a voice said from behind. Rumpleteazer turned to see Mungojerrie standing there, a strange look in his eyes. "I've been meaning to do this for a while now."

The stripy tom advanced slowly towards her until he was barely a whisker's width away from his partner in crime, Rumpleteazer's eyes dropping closed as she inhaled his scent. His warm breath tickled her cheek as he leaned in close and gently placed his arms around her neck, drawing her close to him. His paws lightly brushed the fur on the back of her neck, sending shivers up and down the queen's spine.

Rumpleteazer reached a paw up to her neck just as Mungojerrie drew back, and gasped softly.

"How'd you know I wanted these pearls, Jerrie?"

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Hehehe...


	3. Chapter 3

Yup, that's right, both me and my insanity are back from holiday. I'd suggest running now...

Disclaimer - Do I _look_ Andrew Lloyd Webber or T S Elliot?

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Victoria sighed, irritably – why would things never go right for her? Sure, she seemed perfect, but really…

"Hey, Victoria," a soft voice said; Mistoffelees. "Is anything wrong?"

The white queen gestured to the source of her distress, and the tuxedo tom nodded in understanding. She was surprised when he crossed the short distance between them and gave her shoulder a few short, but gentle, licks.

"Better?" he asked.

She smiled shyly at him in response, and he grinned before continuing. His hot, rough tongue worked its way slowly down her back, causing a purr to rise unbidden in her throat. He got to halfway down her back before pulling away to look at her questioningly. She gave him an affectionate nuzzle before speaking.

"Thanks, Misto; I never can groom that part properly."

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You must have such dirty minds if you thought a completely innocent grooming was something naughty...


	4. Chapter 4

I should really be doing French homework, but... meh, it can wait. This is much more important...

Disclaimer: Do I _look_ like Andrew Lloyd Webber or TS Elliot?

P.s, Quidam helped with the inspiration for this one. Sorta.

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Tugger groaned as he was pulled out from a deep sleep by a noise. A noise that sounded suspiciously like a whimper…

"Oh, _Heaviside_!" a voice gasped loudly, followed closely by another whimper.

The maned cat's ears flicked in the direction of it, and his un-neutered tom-hood took over, leading him towards the source even though his mind told him it really wouldn't look good if he were caught.

As he got closer, he could hear short, shallow breathing and deep purrs coming from a box that rocked slightly in time with each breath. But merely listening wasn't enough – he wanted to _see_ it. Just as long as he wasn't caught.

As he poked his head around the entrance to the box, his eyes widened at the same time one of the cats inside gasped with pleasure.

Jemima and Macavity were doing things they shouldn't…

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Ha! Weren't expecting THAT, now, were you? Maybe I should boot the rating up a few notches...


	5. Chapter 5

-Crawls out from under a rock- I'm not dead, honest... I figured it was about time I did another one of these, so enjoy!

Disclaimer: Do I _look_ like Andrew Lloyd Webber or TS Eliot?

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_Gotta find Straps, gotta find Straps…_ was the single coherent thought running repeatedly through Tugger's head as he ran for his brother's den. _Gotta tell him what Jemima's up to…_

As he approached, he slowed slightly; if he wasn't mistaken, he had just heard a decidedly feminine giggle followed by a playful growl.

_Not them too…_he thought.

Walking right up to the entrance to hear properly, he heard what sounded like two cats rolling about, both laughing softly.

"Have I ever told you how good you look when you're all hot and bothered?" the female voice asked.

Tugger didn't wait to hear anymore, he just ran as fast as he could, knocking a box over in his haste.

"What was that?" Munkustrap asked, sitting up.

"Who cares?" Demeter said as she pulled Munkustrap back down.

And with that, they resumed their tickling match.

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Poor Tugger. I think Misto's got competition in the cruelty-from-me stakes...


End file.
